Thursday, November 14, 2019
10 mistakes smart people never make twice
10 mistakes smart people never make twice 10 mistakes smart people never make twice Everybody makes mistakes - thatâs a given - but we donât always learn from them. Sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again, fail to make any real progress, and canât figure out why.âMistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.â - Bruce LeeWhen we make mistakes, it can be hard to admit them because doing so feels like an attack on our self-worth. This tendency poses a huge problem because new research proves something that common sense has told us for a very long time: fully acknowledging and embracing errors is the only way to avoid repeating them.Yet many of us still struggle with this.Researchers from the Clinical Psychophysiology Lab at Michigan State University found that people fall into one of two camps when it comes to mistakes: those who have a fixed mind-set (âForget this; Iâll never be good at itâ) and those who have a growth mind-set (âWhat a wake-up call! Letâs see what I did wrong so I wonât do it aga inâ).âBy paying attention to mistakes, we invest more time and effort to correct them,â study author Jason Moser says. âThe result is that you make the mistake work for you.âThose with a growth mind-set land on their feet because they acknowledge their mistakes and use them to get better. Those with a fixed mind-set are bound to repeat their mistakes because they try their best to ignore them.Smart, successful people are by no means immune to making mistakes; they simply have the tools in place to learn from their errors. In other words, they recognize the roots of their mix-ups quickly and never make the same mistake twice.âWhen you repeat a mistake it is not a mistake anymore; it is a decision.â â" Paulo CoelhoSome mistakes are so tempting that we all make them at one point or another. Here are 10 mistakes almost all of us make, but smart people only make once.1. Believing in someone or something thatâs too good to be trueSome people are so charismatic and so conf ident that it can be tempting to follow anything they say. They speak endlessly of how successful their businesses are, how well liked they are, who they know, and how many opportunities they can offer you.While it is, of course, true that some people really are successful and really want to help you, smart people only need to be tricked once before they start to think twice about a deal that sounds too good to be true. The results of naivety and a lack of due diligence can be catastrophic.Smart people ask serious questions before getting involved because they realize that no one, themselves included, are as good as they look.2. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different resultAlbert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Despite his popularity and cutting insight, there are a lot of people who seem determined that two plus two will eventually equal five.Smart people, on the other hand, need only experience this frustration once. The fact is simple: if you keep the same approach, youâll keep getting the same results, no matter how much you hope for the opposite.Smart people know that if they want a different result, they need to change their approach, even when itâs painful to do so.3. Failing to delay gratificationWe live in a world where books instantly appear on our e-readers, news travels far and wide, and just about anything can show up at our doorsteps in as little as a day.Smart people know that gratification doesnât come quickly, and hard work comes long before the reward. They also know how to use this as motivation through every step of the arduous process that amounts to success because theyâve felt the pain and disappointment that come with selling themselves short.4. Operating without a budgetYou canât experience financial freedom until you operate under the constraint of a budget. Sticking to a budget, personally and professionally, forces us to make thoughtful choi ces about what we want and need.Smart people only have to face that insurmountable pile of bills once before getting their act together, starting with a thorough reckoning as to where their money is going. They realize that once you understand how much youâre spending and what youâre spending it on, the right choices become clear. A morning latte is a lot less tempting when youâre aware of the cost: $1,000 on average per year.Having a budget isnât only about making sure that you have enough to pay the bills. Smart people know that making and sticking to a strict budget means never having to pass up an opportunity because theyâve blown their precious capital on discretionary expenditures. Budgets establish discipline, and discipline is the foundation of quality work.5. Losing sight of the big pictureItâs so easy to become head-down busy, working so hard on whatâs right in front of you that you lose sight of the big picture. But smart people learn how to keep this in ch eck by weighing their daily priorities against a carefully calculated goal.Itâs not that they donât care about small-scale work; they just have the discipline and perspective to adjust their course as necessary. Life is all about the big picture, and when you lose sight of it, everything suffers.6. Not doing your homeworkEverybody has taken a shortcut at some point, whether it was copying a friendâs biology assignment or strolling into an important meeting unprepared. Smart people realize that while they may occasionally get lucky, that approach will hold them back from achieving their full potential.They donât take chances, and they understand that thereâs no substitute for hard work and due diligence. They know that if they donât do their homework, theyâll never learn anything - and thatâs a surefire way to bring your career to a screeching halt.7. Trying to be someone or something youâre notItâs tempting to try to please people by being whom they want you to be, but no one likes a fake, and trying to be someone youâre not never ends well. Smart people figure that out the first time they get called out for being a phony, forget their lines, or drop out of character.Other people never seem to realize that everyone else can see right through their act. They donât recognize the relationships theyâve damaged, the jobs theyâve lost, and the opportunities theyâve missed as a result of trying to be someone theyâre not.Smart people, on the other hand, make that connection right away and realize that happiness and success demand authenticity.8. Trying to please everyoneAlmost everyone makes this mistake at some point, but smart people realize quickly that itâs simply impossible to please everybody and trying to please everyone pleases no one.Smart people know that in order to be effective, you have to develop the courage to call the shots and to make the choices that you feel are right (not the choices that everyone will like).9. Pl aying the victimNews reports and our social media feeds are filled with stories of people who seem to get ahead by playing the victim. Smart people may try it once, but they realize quickly that itâs a form of manipulation and that any benefits will come to a screeching halt as soon as people see that itâs a game.But thereâs a more subtle aspect of this strategy that only truly smart people grasp: to play the victim, you have to give up your power, and you canât put a price on that.10. Trying to change someoneThe only way that people change is through the desire and wherewithal to change themselves. Still, itâs tempting to try to change someone who doesnât want to change, as if your sheer will and desire for them to improve will change them (as it has you). Some even actively choose people with problems, thinking that they can âfixâ them.Smart people may make that mistake once, but then they realize that theyâll never be able to change anyone but themselves. Instea d, they build their lives around genuine, positive people and work to avoid problematic people that bring them down.Bringing it all togetherEmotionally intelligent people are successful because they never stop learning. They learn from their mistakes, they learn from their successes, and theyâre always changing themselves for the better.Travis Bradberry is the co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the co-founder of TalentSmart.This article originally appeared on LinkedIn. 10 mistakes smart people never make twice Everybody makes mistakes - thatâs a given - but we donât always learn from them. Sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again, fail to make any real progress, and canât figure out why.âMistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.â - Bruce LeeWhen we make mistakes, it can be hard to admit them because doing so feels like an attack on our self-worth. This tendency poses a huge problem because new research proves something that common sense has told us for a very long time: fully acknowledging and embracing errors is the only way to avoid repeating them.Yet many of us still struggle with this.Researchers from the Clinical Psychophysiology Lab at Michigan State University found that people fall into one of two camps when it comes to mistakes: those who have a fixed mind-set (âForget this; Iâll never be good at itâ) and those who have a growth mind-set (âWhat a wake-up call! Letâs see what I did wrong so I wonât do it aga inâ).âBy paying attention to mistakes, we invest more time and effort to correct them,â study author Jason Moser says. âThe result is that you make the mistake work for you.âThose with a growth mind-set land on their feet because they acknowledge their mistakes and use them to get better. Those with a fixed mind-set are bound to repeat their mistakes because they try their best to ignore them.Smart, successful people are by no means immune to making mistakes; they simply have the tools in place to learn from their errors. In other words, they recognize the roots of their mix-ups quickly and never make the same mistake twice.âWhen you repeat a mistake it is not a mistake anymore; it is a decision.â â" Paulo CoelhoSome mistakes are so tempting that we all make them at one point or another. Here are 10 mistakes almost all of us make, but smart people only make once.1. Believing in someone or something thatâs too good to be trueSome people are so charismatic and so conf ident that it can be tempting to follow anything they say. They speak endlessly of how successful their businesses are, how well liked they are, who they know, and how many opportunities they can offer you.While it is, of course, true that some people really are successful and really want to help you, smart people only need to be tricked once before they start to think twice about a deal that sounds too good to be true. The results of naivety and a lack of due diligence can be catastrophic.Smart people ask serious questions before getting involved because they realize that no one, themselves included, are as good as they look.2. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different resultAlbert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Despite his popularity and cutting insight, there are a lot of people who seem determined that two plus two will eventually equal five.Smart people, on the other hand, need only experience this frustration once. The fact is simple: if you keep the same approach, youâll keep getting the same results, no matter how much you hope for the opposite.Smart people know that if they want a different result, they need to change their approach, even when itâs painful to do so.3. Failing to delay gratificationWe live in a world where books instantly appear on our e-readers, news travels far and wide, and just about anything can show up at our doorsteps in as little as a day.Smart people know that gratification doesnât come quickly, and hard work comes long before the reward. They also know how to use this as motivation through every step of the arduous process that amounts to success because theyâve felt the pain and disappointment that come with selling themselves short.4. Operating without a budgetYou canât experience financial freedom until you operate under the constraint of a budget. Sticking to a budget, personally and professionally, forces us to make thoughtful choi ces about what we want and need.Smart people only have to face that insurmountable pile of bills once before getting their act together, starting with a thorough reckoning as to where their money is going. They realize that once you understand how much youâre spending and what youâre spending it on, the right choices become clear. A morning latte is a lot less tempting when youâre aware of the cost: $1,000 on average per year.Having a budget isnât only about making sure that you have enough to pay the bills. Smart people know that making and sticking to a strict budget means never having to pass up an opportunity because theyâve blown their precious capital on discretionary expenditures. Budgets establish discipline, and discipline is the foundation of quality work.5. Losing sight of the big pictureItâs so easy to become head-down busy, working so hard on whatâs right in front of you that you lose sight of the big picture. But smart people learn how to keep this in ch eck by weighing their daily priorities against a carefully calculated goal.Itâs not that they donât care about small-scale work; they just have the discipline and perspective to adjust their course as necessary. Life is all about the big picture, and when you lose sight of it, everything suffers.6. Not doing your homeworkEverybody has taken a shortcut at some point, whether it was copying a friendâs biology assignment or strolling into an important meeting unprepared. Smart people realize that while they may occasionally get lucky, that approach will hold them back from achieving their full potential.They donât take chances, and they understand that thereâs no substitute for hard work and due diligence. They know that if they donât do their homework, theyâll never learn anything - and thatâs a surefire way to bring your career to a screeching halt.7. Trying to be someone or something youâre notItâs tempting to try to please people by being whom they want you to be, but no one likes a fake, and trying to be someone youâre not never ends well. Smart people figure that out the first time they get called out for being a phony, forget their lines, or drop out of character.Other people never seem to realize that everyone else can see right through their act. They donât recognize the relationships theyâve damaged, the jobs theyâve lost, and the opportunities theyâve missed as a result of trying to be someone theyâre not.Smart people, on the other hand, make that connection right away and realize that happiness and success demand authenticity.8. Trying to please everyoneAlmost everyone makes this mistake at some point, but smart people realize quickly that itâs simply impossible to please everybody and trying to please everyone pleases no one.Smart people know that in order to be effective, you have to develop the courage to call the shots and to make the choices that you feel are right (not the choices that everyone will like).9. Pl aying the victimNews reports and our social media feeds are filled with stories of people who seem to get ahead by playing the victim. Smart people may try it once, but they realize quickly that itâs a form of manipulation and that any benefits will come to a screeching halt as soon as people see that itâs a game.But thereâs a more subtle aspect of this strategy that only truly smart people grasp: to play the victim, you have to give up your power, and you canât put a price on that.10. Trying to change someoneThe only way that people change is through the desire and wherewithal to change themselves. Still, itâs tempting to try to change someone who doesnât want to change, as if your sheer will and desire for them to improve will change them (as it has you). Some even actively choose people with problems, thinking that they can âfixâ them.Smart people may make that mistake once, but then they realize that theyâll never be able to change anyone but themselves. Instea d, they build their lives around genuine, positive people and work to avoid problematic people that bring them down.Bringing it all togetherEmotionally intelligent people are successful because they never stop learning. They learn from their mistakes, they learn from their successes, and theyâre always changing themselves for the better.Travis Bradberry is the co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the co-founder of TalentSmart.This article originally appeared on LinkedIn.
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